by Jeff Dee
June 10, 2001
If youíre an atheist who travels a lot, like I do, hereís a fun game you can play in your hotel room. Itís called ďHide The BibleĒ.
As soon as you get settled in, check all the drawers until you find the ubiquitous Gideonís Bible. Then the fun begins.
Explore your room, looking for a good place to hide that Bible. Often thereís a space underneath the dresser, enclosed on three sides but open at the back. Iím pretty sure they donít move those dressers very often, so itíll take Ďem a long time to find it there! If you canít get the Bible under the dresser that way, try pulling out one of the bottom drawers. Sometimes you can get it like that, and even if you canít, there may still be room to fit the bible underneath the drawer itself. In hotels that have big TVs, the TV stand offers another excellent hiding place. One time my wife found a way to wedge a hardcover bibleís cover in a thin gap in the wall underneath the sink. You never know what cool places youíll find to hide it in!
Donít hide it under the sheets, or even between the mattresses, because itíll be found right away. And donít break anything in order to create a hiding place, because itís not your property. Itís not even stealing! The Bible is still in the room, they just donít know where you put it.
The great thing about Hide the Bible is that when a hotel finds a Bible missing, they replace it with a new one donated by the Gideons, paid for by their Christian followers. This is a great way to make Christians waste money, because the Bible isnít really gone! Itís still there. And some day, the hotel is gonna find it. And when they do, theyíre gonna goÖ "HEY! Weíve got TOO MANY BIBLES!"
Which is what we atheists have been saying all along.
Update: August 23, 2001
I just received the following email:
"I played "Hide the Bible" over the weekend, but someone beat me to my hiding place. I lifted the nightstand, only to find another bible! I ended up placing it under the dresser with a note saying..."No, please try another location." I love that game." - Steve G.
That's great to hear, Steve! Apparently "Hide the Bible" is beginning to catch on. Send your own "Hide the Bible" stories to: firstname.lastname@example.org