A couple times in Queer Zine Explosion, I made lists
zine clichés -- things I saw repeatedly in
zines. Some were design flaws, others were content
ideas that may have once been fresh but had turned
Now that so many people are doing e-zines --
web sites and such -- I'm seeing a new batch of cliches.
Not that people aren't immune to the old cliches --
familiar sights like the heterosexual questionaire can
be found on web sites if you
look for them.
Taking down your website while "working" on a new design scheme.
Ok, you had content, and now it's all inaccessible
while you procrastinate about doing a new page. Hey, it may
have been ugly, but at least it was something -- why not leave
it up until the new one's ready?
Counters -- they take too long to load, they're innacurate, they're
broken half the time, they're ugly, and the numbers are
Rainbow patterns, as I've pointed out on my
Generic queer home page.
The gallery of stolen naked pictures. Come on, you have a
camera, you have tricks - how about some trick photography?
And what's with calling is a "gallery"? Does that make it art?
Ad banners -- is making a few pennies really worth adding to
the ugliness of your web page?
Your personal statistics page -- no paper zine was
ever crass enough that the publisher would include
height, weight, penis size, etc. Remember, you're
trying to impress people with your mind, not your body.
Obvious links pages. I think we all know how to get
Content totally recycled from the zine you
did four years ago -- haven't you written anything
since then? Oh, I'm sorry, I guess
you've been busy doing charitable good works.
Web page not updated since it was first put up --
glad to see you're still a big fan of the one-hit
wonder of 1995 (e.g. Urge Overkill.)
The obsessively updated web page -- do you remember
what the sun looks like? How about
what your friends look like?
The Geocities website -- don't
you think you could afford $100 a year to not have those
annoying popup windows?
The guestbook -- with a simple script, you allow
all your readers the opportunity to sign up for
getting spammed by email address harvesters.
Web pages that start with the words "Hi, my name is..."
Oops, I'm guilty.
Larry-bob's Generic Queer Homepage Introduction
Back to main Holy Titclamps page